Monday, August 10, 2009


I guess when you are pregnant for nine months you spend that time preparing - physically and mentally - for life with a baby. I never realized how much your life changes with a baby. Especially a baby with severe colic. I'm not complaining really ... this little guy needs me and I'm the only one stepping up for him, so I'm definitely not going to complain, I'm just saying, man, my life has changed. He is so precious, and he loves his Gammy for sure, but oh my goodness I would love to be able to put him down without having to hear him scream bloody murder. And I asked the doctor what to do about his severe stomach aches - she said just hold him. Um ... I hold him 20 hours a day - no lie and no exaggeration. If I put him down, he screams. The doctor says screaming like that will make his tummy worse cause he's sucking in air. Goodness gracious. It is going to be a nightmare undoing the "having to be held" when his colic subsides. Right now I have him laying across me in such a fashion that I can still reach around him and type with two hands - well, it's kind of like one and a half hands - you'd just hafta see it. I have a warm pack on his belly, which means it's also on my belly, between me and him, and have I mentioned I am in menopause (again/still) and have the worst case of constant hot flashes and profuse sweating that you could imagine (and then some)! My back is at a constant burning-ache stage, and I worry constantly about how I am going to manage as he gets bigger, cause he's getting bigger by the day. So anyway, I have had to give up playing Mobsters - sure, I still try to log on once a day just so I don't show up as "inactive" - in the hopes that I may be able to pick it back up some day soon, but even that once a day is getting harder by the day to where there's actually been those "inactive" days. I have made ONE scrapbook page since having the baby, although I have been trying to organize all my digital kits in Photoshop, but again, that's something difficult to do one-handed and without a little bit of concentration - which btw, my brain is pretty much mush now due to lack of sleep (and yes, I worry about having sleep-deprived hallucinations and break-downs!!!) - I get three solid hours a day (really between two and three) for his long sleep, then after 1 or 2 a.m. I get short 15-30 minute intervals that is just enough to piss me off. I've given up napping during the day unless Kenny is here to take care of the baby, because he will not take longer than 15 minute naps, only because he wakes up with stomach pains. Poor little guy literally has dark circles under his eyes! OK, I've given an update - my arms are getting tired trying to reach the keyboard in this construed position, and of course, he is shifting around and "tooting" meaning we are about to have another "spell". Pray for me!

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